Social Decorum: A mirror of social indiscretion

To those who ask the question why on earth do people peep into others windows instead of watching their own blinds? Fellow questioner you are not alone. It’s weird to write this but I have realize that the human soul can only bear so much but somehow it does slip up and frustration creeps in and you wake up with question of utter despair. Maybe ‘despair’ isn’t quite the right word to use- disgust, that’s the word. Through out time it has been observed that the normal adolescent goes through this phase of utter chaos- you know when things seem to always not go your way. Trust me I go through that same shit as anyone of you who think to agree with me. Recently, I have discovered that behind this facade of being happy n sociable I really don’t care much for social discourse. I find triviality in the idea of making small talk. Yet somehow the earth spins and takes this 360 degree turn and flips you into a chaotic mess of being around uneasy situations. I’ve been told that there is only so much that one can talk about just to carry on with social decorum but come on- whoever thought social decorum was a healthy way of interaction clearly didn’t get the memo that it was more about vicious gossip and unhealthy tattle. 

Social decorum has now taken the shape of door to door snoop stories. People masquerade as happy co-settlers only to find a glitch in the other to rag about. So fine folks, the start of this para I began with the question of why things happen to those who really don’t want anything happening- I post the question because I have realize that civilized culture drags one into a room of unhealthy chatter that one really doesn’t one to be locked in… honestly, if social decorum meant tales of an unsettling nature I would rather skip it and settle for solitude. In silence one finds peace knowing that one is not near such ugliness. Facades are what surrounds us and it is what social decorum has turn into. 

So readers beware of one thing- get yourself out of sticky situations even if it is something that you find no escape root from. I know its hard but do not let petty crap about this and that and him and her ruin your day. Honestly, people would live more happily if they actually cared less about the person next to them…maybe next time you won’t have to ask yourself why the hell that I get myself into such crappy situations. Remember social decorum is a maze of social purgatory!!!Image

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“I do not have OCD OCD OCD.” (hmmmm… :D)

To the person/persons reading this, well, “Hello!” from the title itself you will come to realize that yes I am confessing to you that I have a tad bit of an OCD problem..I say “TAD” I doubt my family and friends see it that way. 

 The reason I have taken up OCD as a topic is because I have realized its one of those problems that starts of slow, barely noticeable and yet, overtime creeps into your whole lifestyle and as you grow older everything begins to pose as a problem and a compulsive need to correct the problem starts. Those of you who may not have it probably find it amusing or annoying; well, take it from me its not amusing at all. For example, I can’t go to public restrooms because what you see as perfectly clean even in a fancy cafe or restaurant I see it as a pool of oozy infested germ colony. I can never be satisfied seeing a book out of its shelf where it is perfectly aligned the way I kept it and it aggravates me even more seeing someone take it from its place and keeping it away from the spot  and many more examples I could cite for you guys trust me but the whole point of me writing this is that this so called “compulsive need” is not voluntary. I would be happy not cringing or feeling like the walls are going to cave in whenever something is “out of place”. The need to clean and re-arrange things every single day. The need to follow a pattern everyday . I would kill to feel “normal”. I know I am sounding a bit too dramatic but I cannot help it. Being this compulsive person has its drawbacks its only now in the past few years that I have managed to turn a blind eye and calm my self in situations. 

So you who is reading this, if maybe you have similar problems or know someone with a “Monica” complex well don’t feel down I am right here dusting away every spec of fear and shame with you. You are not alone or a freak. You may like to count faster or slower or sing and hum in situations. You may do laundry and vacuum even the vacuum cleaner. You may have a label maker for your label maker. In the end, trust me, those are the quirks that make you. You maybe a Monica or a Sheldon Cooper in the end you are you. Embrace it. If you need help there are places for it. In this world, mixed bags of people exist. So what I want to say is we all have a “compulsive” need for something doesn’t mean you are different and if you feel you are different well then like the saying goes there is unity in diversity. Love yourself. Help yourself. The rest will follow. 

❤ N 

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Apocalypse… …

Apocalypse…
“For man, the vast marvel is to be alive. For man, as for flower, beast & bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive. Whatever the unborn & the dead may know, they cannot know the beauty the marvel of being alive in the flesh. The dead may look after the afterwards but the magnificent here & now of life in the flesh is ours, & ours alone, & ours only for a time. We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive & in the flesh, & part of the living incarnate cosmos. I am part of the earth my feet know perfectly & my blood is part of the sea. There is nothing of me i.e., alone and absolute except my mind and we shall find that the mind has no existence by itself it is only the glitter of the sun on the surface of the waters”..~~~~~D.H.Lawrence

HOLLOW MAN.

He stood there in the dark of night
holding forth a torchlight
staring into the dark
all that could be heard was a bark
of a dog in the neighbour’s yard
yet there he stood still in the dark.
 
He kept on holding on to the light
as it flickered in the ground
he did not flash it towards the sound
of what could be steps on the marshes
he just kept on standing still
never moving, never flinching
just a man in the dark of night.
 
Lost was he in the death of the night.
Or was he looking for a sight?
one could not tell but wonder
was he a man or a dead soul
standing forth in this ungodly hour?
Searching for something in the night 
Like the rest of the souls wandering the streets
Looking for a familiar thing lost
That was once their’s to keep.Image

LONDON GRAMMAR- STRONG

Excuse me for a while
While I’m wide-eyed
And I’m so down caught in the middle
I’ve excused you for a while
While I’m wide-eyed
And I’m so down caught in the middle

And a lion, a lion, roars would you not listen?
if a child, a child cries would you not forgive them?

Yeah, I might seem so strong
Yeah, I might speak so long
I’ve never been so wrong
Yeah, I might seem so strong
Yeah, I might speak so long
I’ve never been so wrong

Excuse me for a while,
turn a blind eye
With a stare caught right in the middle
Have you wondered for a while
I have a feeling deep down?
You’re caught in the middle

if a lion, a lion roars would you not listen?
If a child, a child cries would you not forgive them?

Yeah, I might seem so strong
Yeah, I might speak so long
I’ve never been so wrong

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14.02.14

“And like that, I said goodbye to my grandmother like we were two people who met in a coffee shop, shared a lifetime of stories and left wanting more, but knowing we’d meet there again”. 

As the lovebirds flutter in the streets and coffee houses basking in their sweet moments, my mind however, sways to a memory of losing someone close to me on such a day of merriment. While I see people embarking on new romances and old ones rekindled…I think back to that specific Valentine’s day morning where I see your face so clearly, gentle, calm and forever loving. You said goodbye as I left for school and forever now that goodbye is all I think of . Sacred is Valentine’s Day for those that believe in the celebration of love. I, however, see this day as a celebration of the sweetest person I had ever loved….

Love you Mei.

So, all of you who are celebrating this day be it with someone or alone, do not fret or feel dejected. Love is eternal and no date in the calender can tell you otherwise. You will find that love and if for now you feel it hasn’t found you yet, well be patient. Celebrate it with friends or alone. Grab your favorite things and embrace this day as a day like any other day . Pamper thy self! I think chocolate is the best cure to anything. 😉

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